


LOST IN THE DISTANCE

by Sickpuppyinexile



Category: Hurts (UK Band)
Genre: Adam is an absent husband and father, Disappointment, Family, Guilt, Love, M/M, Sadness, Theo is a loving Father
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-10-10 04:43:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17419295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sickpuppyinexile/pseuds/Sickpuppyinexile
Summary: Adam and Theo met when they were in their early twenties and it was love at first sight. Their jobs kept them apart for a while but at some point they settled down and opted for a more normal life, or at least that was the intention. After getting married they had a baby but while Theo was more than happy to dedicate time to their family, Adam seemed to take distance from it.





	1. THERE ARE TIMES WHEN WE QUESTION THE THINGS WE KNOW

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there, here is a story who challenged me a lot because it talks about them not being "Hurts" and there is a kid involved (and I am not an expert about this stuff!)  
> Please forget everything you know or we usually imagine about them but their look is their actual look (at least one thing corresponds to reality hahahah)  
> Enjoy it!

"Dad, it's beautiful," Emma said looking up at the big, colorful banner and Theo placed a kiss on the cheek of the little girl he was holding in his arms.

"Yes it is; but I think that your drawings are the most beautiful thing here and dad is gonna like them a lot. I bet he will take a beautiful picture and put it on his phone so he can show everyone how talented is his little monster," Theo said with a chuckle.

"I am not a little monster! I am a biiiig monster!" Emma exclaimed, her little hands turning into claws and his lovely face showing Theo a terrifying, opened mouth ready to eat him.

"Please don't eat me! I have a beautiful party to attend tonight and it would be a pity if I show up without my head! And how can I kiss my beautiful daughter without my lips? And how can I read her favorite stories without my mouth?"

Emma giggled at first and while looking at his dad's pleading face, she began to laugh and then, she threw her littles arms around Theo's neck and placed a kiss on his cheek.

"Don't worry dad, the monster disappeared," she whispered in his ear and then she flashed him a big smile. "You need your head also because we have to eat the cake and all the other things we'll buy for the party!" she added, and Theo couldn't help but smile at her being so adorable. Before placing her down to the ground to get themselves ready, he pecked her brow to thank her for having saved him from the monster and he couldn't help but feeling blessed for being his father.

"Now go to your bedroom and take your backpack; if you want, you can bring also your teddy bear because I think that it's better we go directly to the airport after stopping at the bakery," he said before he begun to gather his wallet, phone and car keys. He couldn't wait for Adam being back home and this time, a celebration with a little party was required because he was finally coming back after being away for three, long months in a row.

Adam had planned three weeks off before leaving again and for Theo that was definitely something to celebrate. Adam had been away for almost the whole past year, coming back home just for a few days before leaving again, and three weeks to spend all together looked like a Christmas present to Theo. It was pretty sad to consider it a present but that was the actual situation of the Hutchcraft-Anderson family; a husband and a daughter trying to get the most of every single moment that Adam could give them, feeling happy for something that should be a daily routine.

Adam was a very well-known and successful photographer now, probably one of the few lucky men on earth that had turned their passion into their job; he loved his job so much that he didn't consider it a job and, therefore, he often ended up forgetting all the rest. They had met on a set of a photo shoot when Theo was just twenty-two years old and Adam a couple of years older. They had clicked from the first time they had shook their hands and exchanged a few words, and despite Theo was used to meet dozens of new people almost every day, he knew that at the end of that day, Adam would not be just another telephone number in his phone book.

Theo was already a pretty known model for a famous brand when he met Adam; the blue eyed guy was just the new assistant of an important photographer but Theo had noticed how eager he was to take the place of his mentor and he loved his attitude besides finding him really cute. They hadn't stopped staling glances at each other while they were on set and Theo had never enjoyed his job like that day. They went out in the evening and throughout the whole dinner, they had the gut feeling that they were bound to be together again. The kiss exchanged before saying goodbye had confirmed them that there was something special between them so they exchanged not only their phone numbers but also their calendar, in order to be able to always get in touch since they both travelled a lot. They had kept in contact not skipping a single day; sometimes it was just a quick chat on WhatsApp but when they were lucky enough to be more or less in the same time zone, it was a long video call until they fell asleep. They had never missed a goodnight or a good morning message, they always exchanged pictures of the places they traveled to, as well as funny stuff to make the other burst into laughter or sigh deeply, and without even knowing when it had happened, they had become a couple.

Despite their jobs were keeping them apart most of the time, they had made promises to each other the first time they finally had the chance to meet again after their first encounter. They managed to plan weeks off from time to time and they had never missed an opportunity to meet and stay together, sometimes only for one night when they were lucky enough to be in the same city, sometimes only for a few hours when they were just in the same airport. As soon as their careers had become more successful, they had the chance to choose which offer to accept and which to decline in order to spend more time together and it didn't take too much to realize that it was real love between them. A few years later, they bought a home together and moved in, and started to think about getting married. Everything they had dreamed about during the five years of their relationship had happened; they got married and after Theo's thirtieth birthday, they decided to have a baby, taking one-year pause from their careers before slowly going back to work. To be honest, it has been Theo the one who had taken it really slow, spending more time than Adam with their daughter Emma. Theo had stopped modeling except for his friend Miles and his clothing brand, and only occasionally he had accepted invitations from other stylists to walk the catwalk during the London fashion week. He had opened his own model agency and he had been smart and lucky enough to find out valid people working for him so when Emma became part of the family, he had enough time to dedicate to her, leaving the office whenever he needed it, knowing that he could easily delegate every tasks to his skilled assistants 

Theo took a look around while waiting for Emma, checking if nothing was missing for the little party. He was sure that Adam would be happy for the surprise and he hoped he would feel how much they loved him and missed him. He was aware of the fact that Adam really loved his job and for this reason, he had never told him not to leave when he had the chance to do it. Every time it happened, it made him feel bad; he felt lonely and he hated to see Emma growing without having him by his side. He could bear the first because he had Emma cheering him up but it made him really sad that his husband was losing lots of the beautiful things that were happening to their daughter. They were able to speak by phone every day, often using FaceTime when also Emma was around; thank to modern technologies Adam could see her and somehow interact with her but he knew that it wasn't the same as being at home and being her dad.

"I am ready," Emma said and Theo smiled at her choice of red boots and yellow dress. He helped her wearing the coat and took her hand, closing the front door behind them with a big smile on his face. He put Emma in the car, gave her the singing teddy bear and drove toward the bakery to buy the food for their little party, singing tunes with the little devil in the backseat.

They had taken their time at the bakery; Adam's flight was supposed to arrive in two hours so they decided there was enough time for a tea with the delicious biscuits baked at the shop before choosing and buying salty and sugary delicious finger food for the upcoming party. As soon as they were done with that, Theo put Emma in the car again and he felt a rush of excitement realizing that his husband was finally coming back home to stay for three, long weeks. It was definitely better than the usual three/four days when Adam had just the time to unpack, pack again and had a few hours to relax and enjoy his family. He couldn't help but smiling in anticipation at the moment he would have thrown his arms around Adam and he would enjoyed the feeling of being held into a tight hug; he couldn't wait to kiss him, make love to him, falling asleep in his arms and waking up next to him. He couldn't wait to see the three of them having breakfast all together, see him playing with Emma and doing all the other stupid little things that he missed so much. This time they would have the time to go to the supermarket as well as to go for a little holiday; they would bring and pick up Emma at the kindergarten together as well as falling asleep on the couch while watching a movie after Emma was asleep.

"Why are you smiling, dad?" She asked as he finished fixing her at the backseat.

"I am happy to see dad!" Theo said raising his eyebrows and after he kissed her forehead, he entered the car and started the engine.

 

Theo was about to enter the highway when Adam's message informed him that he wasn't on the flight he was supposed to be. His flight had stopped in Paris while coming from Los Angeles and instead of catching the flight to London as planned, he had agreed for an unexpected business meeting in France so he would arrive home three days later than supposed. Theo felt sadness take over him; obviously Adam hadn't find stupid to accept an unplanned business meeting because he was supposed to have three weeks holiday so three days less at home would have not make any difference this time. How could he be so stupid?

- _Selfish idiot_ \- he murmured and his left hand hit the steering wheel before it moved to his forehead, feeling completely downcast by the unexpected news.

"Dad, why we stopped?"

"Honey, dad is not coming tonight so I am afraid that our plans of having a party are changed...what about going to Magic Land?" Theo asked turning toward her, forcing a smile appearing on his disappointed face.

Emma let out a shout of pure happiness for the fact she was going to spend the rest of the day at her favourite place. She obviously didn't mind at all if Adam wasn't coming back; she was excited about diving into colored balls, jumping on trampoline, having fun climbing on the bouncy castle and eating pizza. Theo smiled genuinely at her excitement and he couldn't help but laugh the moment she began shaking her teddy bear, singing aloud her personal version of her favorite song and looking at her made his misery disappeared.

They stopped at home to put away the things they had bought for the party and to change Emma's clothes so she would be more comfortable while playing. He decided to change the smart suit he was wearing opting for a more casual outfit and he tried his best to look happy.

While Emma was playing with the other kids of her age, Theo couldn't help but think that he needed to know what was going on with Adam because he really had no idea of what was going on in his husband's head. What he knew for sure was that he had enough of his behavior and that things couldn't go on like that. He honestly didn't know what to tell him nor which was the best way to express how he was feeling, and the idea of waiting him at home where a colorful banner and beautiful drawings were hanging on the wall of the living room would not make things easy. He decided that maybe he could bring Emma to their house at the beach and take a long weekend to clear his mind before Adam was back. He could easily postpone or delegate his business meetings at the office - _as always_ \- and Emma didn't have any important event at the kindergarten that she couldn't skip so it was the perfect thing to do. And maybe they would be back home without Adam if he would tell him that he didn't feel like being part of their family anymore.

- _Don't even think about that, Theo!_ \- he told himself as he run his hands through his hair. He sipped from his orange juice even if all he wanted now was a couple of gin and tonic and he looked at Emma playing happily, her hair tousled, her cheeks flushed. Would things be different without her? Not that he repented of his decision because that was a thought that had never crossed his mind even for a second, but without Emma he would have the chance to follow Adam around the world but honestly, what the difference would be? He would simply have the chance to run after him, waiting to spend a few hours together after he was done with his job and it wouldn't be a better situation probably.

As soon as they were back home, he put the tired, little devil in bed and packed the few stuff they needed so they would be ready to leave early the following day. He checked the clock and it was barely ten and besides being too early to fall asleep, the idea of going to bed alone again didn't appeal him a lot. It made him feel even more disappointed, sad and lonely than he already was and he honestly doubted about the fact that he would be able to fall asleep in that state of mind. He had spent the whole morning and afternoon imagining the moment when beautiful blue eyes would look at him full of love, strong arms would hug him tightly and soft lips would kiss him gently and now, nothing of that was about to happen. Right now, they should be together on the couch having some cheesy conversation about how much they missed each other. And later, they were supposed to be in their bedroom getting rid of their clothes before sliding under the covers. Adam's hands had to caress gently his body and his lips kiss every inch of him. And after that, they would be one, soft moans escaping their lips, their eyes shining for bliss and their whispers telling each other how much they were in love.

*

Adam was back to the hotel after he had a business dinner with that important client he had met on his flight and had convinced him to change his plans. They were going to meet again the following day because they had fixed a formal appointment in his office, at the presence also of his business partner, so he needed to rest to be at top but he needed as well to talk to Theo. He dialed the number, finding himself taking a deep breath to calm himself, while waiting for his husband to answer; he felt nervous and he knew that he was right to feel like that. He waited for Theo to pick up but, surprisingly, he hadn't done it. He tried again and after a few rings, the line went down. He knew that there was the chance that Theo was deliberately avoiding him but he decided to give another try only to find out that his supposition was right. The line went down after only one ring and Adam let himself fall back on the bed sighing deeply; it was difficult to piss Theo off but, apparently, he had managed to do it and he felt a complete idiot. How could he have been so stupid? Theo was his husband and, most of all, the love of his life; he was waiting for him to come back home after three months and he had put him aside for a couple of business meetings.

"Congrats, Adam, you keep forgetting who the most important persons in your life is," Adam said aloud feeling a complete wanker and he could not believe how he had ended up being such a dickhead. He could understand that Theo was not in the mood to talk to him but he needed to apologize at least so he picked up the phone and typed a pathetic message.

- _Theo I know I've disappointed you and you're mad at me; I am really sorry. I don't know what it went through my head when I accepted those meetings; I should be at home right now and... I am an idiot. I am sorry._ -

Theo read the message and laughed hysterically after reading the words because in his opinion, they were just "words" written in a pathetic attempt to apologize and feel better. He launched the phone on the couch in an angry gesture and he found himself shaking his head while pacing back and forth trying to calm down. He was about to leave the room and go to check Emma just to avoid thinking at Adam but then, he retrieved the phone back and decided that Adam didn't deserve his indifference.

- _I really hope that your business meetings are gonna be successful; nothing can keep you warm and make you feel loved and fulfilled as a business meeting, right? Sweet dreams._ \- Theo typed with his heart thumping in his chest and then, he walked towards the kitchen. He poured himself some water and he felt suddenly miserable, almost on the verge of crying. What had happened to them? Why Adam wasn't anymore happy to stay at home with him and Emma?

Adam was taken aback by the words that had appeared on the display; he had never felt Theo that angry and disappointed and his eyes, all of a sudden, were brimming with tears because he had never felt that guilty and scared in his whole life.

- _Theo, you have all the reasons to be mad at me but I swear and I promise you that I am gonna stop behaving like a dickhead. I love you._ -

Adam stared at the screen; the message had been delivered but not read and his heart sunk. Theo didn't want to talk to him and was probably tired to hear his lame excuses and pathetic apologies because right now, his husband was pissed off and hurt and he couldn't believe that he was the reason of that. Because he couldn't blame no one except himself; Theo was the best husband he could ever ask and the best father Emma could ever desire. He picked his laptop from the bag and searched immediately for a flight to London; unfortunately, due to some strikes, there wasn't a flight available until 8:00 p.m. of the following day. He cursed at himself for the bad luck and bought the ticket, planning to meet the clients anyway; at least he had not screwed up things for nothing.


	2. NEVER THOUGHT THAT THE CRACKS WILL BEGIN TO SHOW

After a rather troubled night, Theo drove to Brighton. He had taken his time to wake Emma up, cuddling with her a bit in bed before getting up and had breakfast with a huge cup of coffee, which was unusual for him. He had gone to sleep angry and disappointed and he hadn't rested properly so a triple coffee had been necessary before driving. Leaving the house and avoiding looking at the welcoming banner was the only way for him to calm down; he needed to clear his mind about the situation with Adam and make decisions that were really difficult to make, and staying at home would not help him to do any of those things.

He hadn't checked his phone before leaving, afraid that a message from Adam might vanish all his good intentions to calm down and now that half of the day had already passed, he was happy to realize that his plan was working. Breathing the fresh air and taking in the sight of the blue sea had calmed his mind and looking at Emma having fun and enjoying the empty beach had put him in a better mood. Obviously, he hadn't forgotten what had happened the day before and it wasn't his intention to forget. He had already overlooked Adam's behaviour too many times in the past year, telling himself to let go because it was his job and he loved it, but it was clear that Adam had taken his being kind, helpful and accommodating as a green light to do whatever he wanted, without thinking at the fact that he was part of a family. It was a fact that after Emma had begun to attend the kindergarten Adam had kept himself busy more and more, accepting jobs that brought him to the other side of the world most of the times, forgetting that despite he didn't need _help_ to raise their daughter, he and Emma needed his presence, his attentions and his love. He had wrongly thought that a thirty six year old man was adult enough to be wise and understand that there was a line he could not cross but, unfortunately, facts were proving the opposite month after month.

Emma was on the couch taking her afternoon nap and Theo felt blessed for having her in his life. It was undeniable that his life now revolved around her but even if it was a demanding task, it was an amazing one. She was not a difficult kid, rather the opposite, so Adam could not blame that for staying away from home and whatever the problem was, it was just _his_ problem.

"It seems impossible to think that he is taking distance from us; I was sure he wanted to spend the rest of his life with us but honestly, I don't know how he can do it being away all the time," he murmured, caressing her hair.

Emma turned on her side and he sighed as he looked at her being so peacefully asleep. He didn't know if it was more a good thing or bad one the fact that she wasn't missing Adam. On one side, it spared her from suffering for his dad being away all the time but it also prevented her from knowing Adam now that she was old enough to understand how amazing was the man he had married.

"But maybe he's not the same man; after all we never stop growing up and well, that's not a bad thing but the problem here is that he changed his priorities and it seems...it seems that we're not anymore one of his. l kept telling myself that we were still the most important thing in his life but his last action definitely opened my eyes and... broke my heart," he went on talking in a low voice.

Theo felt tears coming up and he shook his head in disbelief at the thought that something like that had happened to them. They had always been a solid couple and even if he had been the one talking first about having a baby, Adam had agreed enthusiastically, showing no hesitation, knowing from the start that it wouldn't be easy, ready to live and share a new chapter of their life with him. They had faced many obstacles and overcome several difficulties and Adam had always been next to him, especially when he had felt disheartened and pessimistic about realizing their dreams, cheering him up and telling him that they would hold a baby in their arms soon.

"And he can't even blame a middle age crisis cause he's too young for that," Theo murmured sarcastically as his hand went on stroking Emma's hair. "Anyway, don't worry my love; I will never leave you."

*

Adam had been busy for the whole morning but after lunch, when he was back to the hotel, he sent a few messages to Theo. It was late afternoon when his husband had finally read them and he hoped that it was a good sign even if he was aware of the fact that probably nothing had changed since the previous night, not to mention the fact that Theo hadn't sent any reply. He packed again, called a taxi to reach the airport and kept checking his phone in case a message from Theo would pop up. He went through the security checks forcing himself to be optimistic, telling himself that despite everything, Theo would be happy to see him one day before he had announced, even if it was later than originally planned. He couldn't wait to see Theo, hug him and hold him tightly in his arms and he really needed to apologize first, and make some true promises after, ending up with a declaration of love that his man deserved. He couldn't wait to slid under the covers and spoon Theo, talk and laugh with him, kiss and love him, falling asleep with him in his arms. He couldn't wait to wake him up with a kiss on his forehead, look at his freckled, sleepy face while waiting for that big brown eyes open and look at him happily, making him feel as he was high.

_This is not being optimistic, Adam; this is more like believing in miracles. He's clearly mad at you because you have never seen Theo behaving like that and what is worse, is that he's also very disappointed and hurt by your behavior and he has all the reasons to feel like that._

The flight had been the worst short-distance flight he remembered because it had been delayed several times without knowing how much he was supposed to wait before boarding. He got nervous with each passing hour he spent at the gate and sitting on the plane because getting home in the middle of the night would not be the best way to show up but well, he was still the main responsible of the mess that his life was. During the one-hour trip his mind had been busy thinking about what to say to Theo to convince him that he was going to make their family his priority, not finding any of his speeches good enough and feeling pretty disheartened the moment the plane landed. 

Adam arrived home in the dead of the night; he tried his best not to awake anyone as he opened the front door and dragged the heavy luggage inside, not sure of what he had to do now. He got rid of his shoes and as he took a few steps in the living room, he noticed a colorful banner welcoming him home and hanging from it there were also four beautiful drawings. Adam's heart stopped racing for the nervousness and melted at the realization that his husband and his daughter had organized a party for him, but the smile on his face slowly disappeared as he realized that he had missed it, or better, that he hadn't showed up. The fact that the banner was still up, made him hope that there would be a party anyway and even if he was happy for that, he felt like shit because truth was that he didn't deserve it. He sadly realized how foolish and insensitive he had behaved in the past years; the most precious things in his life were Theo and Emma and he had kept himself away from them for no good reasons.

Adam took a deep breath and slowly walked up the stairs, determined not to waste a second of his staying at home. He put his head inside Emma's bedroom and he frowned when he found her bed empty. He thought that she was probably sleeping with Theo but, to his surprise, also their bedroom was empty and Adam's heart begun to race in his chest. He felt immediately scared because it was three in the morning and the chance that Theo had left because he was angry begun to run around his head. He turned the light on and looked around the room before checking also Emma's one and he drew a sigh of relief noticing that all their stuff was still there but nonetheless, they weren't at home and that wasn't a good sign anyway. He picked the phone from his pocket to check for any message and then, he ran down the stairs. He turned the light of the living room on and headed towards the kitchen searching for a note, and he found it, as usual, hanging from a magnet on the fridge.

_We're in Brighton; just in case you arrive before we come back on Sunday evening_ the note said and Adam's heart sunk. He could feel the bitterness in Theo's words and he could hear his sad tone echoing in his ears. After all, his husband had all the reasons to be mad at him; he probably felt stupid for wasting time organizing him a party to show him how happy he was to have him back home again and going away was pretty normal.

Adam's hands run through his hair in despair; his gut feeling was telling him that this time his husband would not make things easy but maybe the situation was even worse. Maybe this time Theo wasn't anymore available to give them a chance and he felt desperate, almost on the verge of crying, because his life would be meaningless.

It took a full ten minutes to Adam to get a grip on himself; Theo had told him where he was and it seemed that he had also planned coming back so maybe nothing was lost yet. Or maybe he wanted to take a break and he would come back to London alone with Emma leaving him alone in Brighton to reflect about how stupid he was. Yes, probably it would end up like that and he couldn't blame Theo for not wanting him in his life anymore.

Adam turned the light off and exited the kitchen; he needed to go to sleep since he had to get up and reach Brighton the morning after but he knew that he would end up tossing and turning in the bed so he decided it was better to unpack and wait for tiredness to knock him down completely. One hour later, when he couldn't keep his eyes open anymore, he threw himself on the sofa; sleeping in the bed alone would be too sad, especially because the sheets smelled of Theo and the man wasn't there for his fault.

*

The morning after, Theo woke up to Emma's kiss; he opened only one of his eyes just to make her laugh, and her smiling face was enough to avoid the sadness appear. He hugged her and cuddled a bit with her in bed but the sun was already shining and the little monster was eager to go out and play with the sand, pick up shells and stones and meet with the other kids of the neighborhood. They got up and had breakfast, finishing the sweets that they had bought for the unforgettable party and Emma hadn't say a thing about Adam not coming home as well as eating a cake that had been made for him. All she had said, since they were here, was that she loved their house at the sea and that she wanted a dog, and Theo was trying hard not to show how much he felt bad.

*

Adam woke up that it was already midday. He cursed himself for oversleeping but he had fallen asleep that were four in the morning and he was still pretty tired after the long journey from LA and the meetings he had had in Paris while he was still jetlagged. He hurried to the shower, got dressed in a record time and called a taxi to bring him to the train station. He grabbed something to eat and boarded on train, his mind wandering as he looked out of the window thinking which would be the better way to face Theo's disappointment. He was taking care of Emma by himself and as if it wasn't enough, Theo was doing that perfectly, and if their daughter was smarter and more obedient than the other kids of her age, his husband had the credit of it.

*

Theo and Emma enjoyed the sunny and warm morning walking barefoot on the sand, letting their feet getting wet by the water, running away screaming at the top of their lungs every time they saw a big wave coming close to them, laughing uncontrollably when they had both fell down during one of their runs. No one could ever have doubts about the fact that Theo was Emma's father because besides having his DNA, they were so similar in their temperament as well as in their clumsiness. At some point, they had decided that they were too tired to run away from the waves so they started searching for shells, collecting a couple of very beautiful ones. As one of them had a little hole in it, they decided to turn it into a precious necklace as soon as they arrived home and Emma wore it immediately. They had lunch, with Emma talking relentless of whatever passed through her mind with her usual enthusiasm and Theo's smile faded a little as a message from Adam popped up announcing he was arriving.

*

Adam arrived at their house in Brighton in the middle of the afternoon; he opened the door and he found Theo and Emma napping on the couch. He smiled as he looked at them and his eyes brimmed with tears at the realization of how much he had missed them, almost not believing the fact he had been away for so long with no true reasons, blaming himself once again for having forgotten that they were the most important things in his life. He wiped away a tear that had escaped his eye and took a picture of them, putting it as background of his phone, not intentioned to forget what his priority in life was.

He looked at them in silence for a while and then, he sat on the carpet, leaning his back against the couch. He inhaled Theo and Emma's scent and he wanted to kiss them both but he decided it was better not to do it. His hand moved up to Theo's head and caressed his hair waiting for him to open his beautiful whiskey brown eyes that he had missed so much, hoping to see that there still was some love for him.

"Wow, you really came back one day earlier," Theo said with a sleepy voice and in a sarcastic tone.

"I am sorry," Adam replied and they looked into each other's eyes for what it seemed an eternity. Theo didn't say a thing because he was feeling as if Adam's apologizing words were just a way to solve things quickly and move on before muttering some new promises and this time, he was not intentioned to be tricked.

"I can imagine that you're feeling angry and sad for what had happened; I take all the responsibility for my behaviour and my apologizes are sincere," Adam went on almost whispering the words, and he hoped that Theo hadn't already given up on him.

Theo kept looking into his eyes but remained silent and Adam knew that he had lots of things to say but was holding back words. Probably he was less furious than two days ago but maybe, for the moment, he preferred to stay silent and avoid saying something too harsh. Or probably it wasn't the right moment to talk because Emma was there. For the first time he couldn't say exactly what was going on in his husband's mind and he silently prayed that he hadn't ruined everything. At some point, he couldn't hold Theo's gaze anymore, feeling terribly guilty for the whole situation and he knew that he was the one who had to say something.

"I am not going to forget anymore what is important to me," Adam said and Theo didn't reply again but the look in his eyes said it all. It clearly said that he was not going to believe his words and accept his apologizes, and Adam felt a shiver running down his spine.

"I missed you; I missed you a lot even if I behaved rather selfish but believe me, Theo...I really missed you," Adam said in a higher tone now, as if whispering was giving less importance to the words. Obviously, Adam's tone woke Emma and the little girl rolled in the direction of the voice. Adam smiled to her happily and when she finally opened her brown eyes enough to understand who he was, she smiled and said -welcome home!-

"Thank you sweetheart," Adam said giving her a kiss on the top of the nose and Emma giggled, hurrying to hide his face into Theo's arms. Theo smiled because of Emma's welcome; he knew he had made her some kind of brainwashing in the previous days and probably she was finally happy that the moment had arrived and that she had done her job perfectly. Theo squeezed her, making her laugh even more, and Adam was there overwhelmed by what he was looking at.

"We need to get ready," Theo said looking at Adam with a smile still on his face. Emma had definitely the power to put him in a good mood and Adam silently thanked her for that. Usually, he was the one that had always had this power but Theo had found a great substitute given the fact he was barely at home.

"Where are... we going?" Adam asked hesitantly, hoping not to sound intrusive and confiding in the fact that Theo would include him in whatever they had already planned to do.

"I met Max this morning and it's Lizzie and Josh's birthday so we've been invited; there will be a double cake and we're gonna stay also for dinner. I wasn't sure of your plans so we had organized our evening without you," Theo said almost feeling guilty and Adam felt even worse because Theo had no reason to feel like that. "But you're welcome, of course."

"Thanks."

 

They all got up and headed to the bedroom to change their clothes; Adam told Theo he would take care of Emma and the man went to take a shower enjoying a very long one. It didn't happen often, only when Emma was sleeping, so Theo stayed under the stream of water more than it was usual allowed from the little monster. Seeing Adam had affected him hard; he couldn't help but feeling happy to see those beautiful eyes, hearing his voice and smelling his scent and he had fighted the need and the desire to kiss him and hug him. He felt scared he wasn't strong enough and that he would end up forgetting everything, clearly making a mistake, so he reminded himselft to be strong and resolute. When he stepped out of the bathroom, Adam had already managed to get Emma dressed, even if she looked more ready for a Halloween party instead of a birthday party. Theo smiled as he crossed Adam's apologizing look for not being able to stand up to the little devil but he wasn't surprised of that. Despite Emma was a nice and kind girl, she was a tough cookie and his absent husband hadn't realized it yet.


	3. WE BOTH KNOW LOVE IS NOT THAT EASY

Being at the birthday party of the sons of their neighbors had been an unexpected present for Adam; staying at home would have meant either staying in the same room with Theo in an uncomfortable silence, or pacing nervously the same room having an argument with him, and Adam didn't know which situation would be worse. Obviously, they would have gone back home at some point but Adam hoped that Theo would be more relaxed, less mad at him and maybe also too tired to have an argument with him. He shook away the bad thoughts and decided it was better to distract himself and catch up with what had happened to all those people in the past two years. He knew most of them because they lived next to each other and they had become some kind of friends at some point. They had also become parents more or less at the same time so they had the same problems to share and the same advice to ask each other and in fact, most of the conversations going on in the house were about kids, making him feel a bit like a fish out of water.

He poured himself something to drink and looked at Theo chitchatting with Max and it was a delight to look at Theo's relaxed features, at the constant and genuine smile on his face. His heart melted as soon as Theo looked back at him briefly; he had missed that smile so much and it was making Theo looking even more beautiful. His husband was a handsome man so it was rare that he wasn't beautiful; no matter how tired or sleepy Theo was, the man was always damn gorgeous, but when a smile illuminated his face, he was so beautiful that still left him breathless even after all those years. 

Adam decided that Theo needed to relax so he stopped staring at him; he walked around pretending to feel at ease, giving away warm smiles, exchanging a few words and complimenting Max's wife for the beautiful party. He went out to check the kids and he couldn't help but smile at Emma that was having lot of fun; she was the youngest but she didn't let herself get pushed around as well as she didn't give up when she was unable to do what the other kids were able to do pretty easily. She had met his smile but she hadn't stopped to look at him or smile back at him, his friends being much more interesting than his absent father was.

When he went back inside the house again, he couldn't help but stealing glances at Theo because with each passing seconds, he realized how much he missed spending time with him. During all these years, they had kept craving each other's body and had never stopped having fun together enjoying each other's company, no matter if it was a quite night on the couch, a romantic walk in the park or a crazy rock gig. They had always been in love and he was sure that they could not stop loving each other even if he had to admit that, lately, he had not proven it to Theo.

At some point he decided that it was better to interact a bit more so he joined the conversation about football and he took advantage of Theo's good mood. He stood next to him and searched for some contact in the attempt to make Theo feel that he wasn't alone anymore, that his husband was finally around to take care of him and keep him company. Theo seemed to enjoy Adam's attentions and closeness and he didn't look mad at him; probably he was still mad at him -and had any right to be- but Adam knew Theo enough to know that he was also happy to have him around.

After finishing dinner, the kids left the table and kept playing together while the adults just sat there talking. Adam tried his best to avoid being the center of the attention but they were not seeing him since a while and given the fact he had travelled the world a lot lately, he could not avoid answering lots of questions. Their friends were very curious and listened at him pretty amazed, showing lots of interested for the places he had visited given the fact that with kids, it had been pretty difficult for everyone take trips outside Great Britain. Theo was looking at him and was listening to him, not bothered by the attentions that Adam was receiving from their friends, looking genuinely fascinated by his husband's talks. He felt sad though; it was so good to have him sitting next to him and not feeling alone as usual but...what the future held for them? It was pretty evident that Adam loved his job and loved to travel the world so probably their future was being away from each other.

Adam tried not to talk too long and did his best to change the subject and shift the attention toward someone else, taking the opportunity to enjoy Theo's closeness until they were there because he knew that things would be different at home. His heart made a flip in his chest when he managed to put a quick kiss on his temple when nobody was paying attention; Theo had not rejected him and had smiled so Adam clung at that, hope and optimism coming back all of a sudden.

*

Adam was holding a very sleepy Emma in his arms but since half of her body was laying on one side of his chest and shoulder, he managed to carry her only using one arm and he let the other dangle on his side. He tentatively searched a contact with Theo who was walking next to him, silently hoping not to make things worse than they already were. Theo felt Adam's fingers brushing against his hand but he didn't take the hint and simply went on finishing telling Adam about Emma's dancing show while they were walking back home. Adam could feel that Theo's good mood was disappearing but he didn't feel disheartened; he knew that he was the reason of Theo's sadness and therefore, he was the one who could make him feel better.

As soon as they arrived home, he brought Emma to her bedroom and managed to take her clothes off without awaking her. Theo went straight to their bedroom and changed into his pajama and he was already in bed when Adam arrived and took his clothes off. Adam could feel the tension in the air but well, there was nothing he could do in the next minutes except listening to what Theo wanted to say and reassure him that he would be more present. The other option, falling asleep in silence, would be absolutely heartbreaking and he really hoped it would not end up like that.

Theo killed the light and let a - _goodnight_ \- leaving his mouth while Adam was about to slid under the covers. Theo was resting on his left side, as usual, and Adam couldn't help but approach him and spoon him as he was used to do. He had really missed him and it had been a torture not being able to hug him since he had arrived in Brighton and besides that, he hoped that his hug would make his sad husband feeling better. Unfortunately, this time, he felt Theo stiffing in his arm as he embraced his body; he waited in silence for him to relax and adjust into his hug but Theo didn't seem ready to do it anytime soon.

"I am sorry, Theo. I am really sorry," Adam said, now feeling completely disheartened by Theo's reaction and feeling really bad.

"I know you probably are, Adam, but come on!" Theo said wriggling out of his arms and looking at him. "I have tried to understand why you stay away for so long and why you accept so many jobs, especially outside the UK and I don't like the answer I have found but it's the only one that came to my mind. I know we cannot consider ourselves rich but you know very well that we can easily afford everything we need to enjoy life more than average people can do. And better you don't say you're doing that for us because I don't give a fuck about the things I can buy with your money, besides the fact that I also have a job and I don't need stupid crap to be happy. I just want you at home, next to me and, instead, you're always away so the only thing I can think about is that probably you've realized that you're not cut for this life. And I am not saying I am better than you or that you're heartless or whatever but it's evident that you enjoy your life better when you are by yourself, away from your husband and your daughter."

Adam had been taken aback by the way Theo had said the words and his face paled. His husband wasn't just mad at him; he was sad and was hurt because he was feeling less important than his job and obviously, he wasn't feeling loved anymore. Adam was so shocked that didn't replied immediately and Theo was feeling even worse for that, as if his silence was confirming his words.

"Theo, believe me; I don't want to stay away from you. I am sorry; I behaved like a selfish wanker, I know it. I promise you tha-"

"Don't promise, Adam. You have already done this promise and I haven't seen any difference."

Adam was silent again because Theo was right. They had already had this discussion and he had already made that promise; yes, it has been in more relaxed occasions and they had said the words in between smiles but, nonetheless, Theo had already let him know that his constant travelling was bothering him and he had underestimated the situation.

"If life with me it's not exciting anymore, Adam... well, it makes me really sad and even if it hurts a lot, I am gonna accept it; just be honest with yourself and tell it to me. I need you to think about us and take a decision because I don't want to go on like that."

Adam felt as if someone had stabbed him right in his heart; his eyes became tearful and he felt bad in a way he had never felt. He gathered the courage to speak, fighting the tears in his eyes, and he hoped to be able to open his heart to Theo and let him understand that he was the most important thing in his life.

"Theo, believe me. l still love you and I will always love you, and I can't think to live my life without you," Adam said with his voice trembling for the violent emotions he was feeling, a dreadful mix of desperation and terror.

"I know you love me but maybe...maybe you're not in love with me anymore. And anyway, it's not anymore you and me now," Theo underlined.

"I love our daughter too, Theo! I desired her and I enjoyed every minutes of being her father and I hope you know that."

"Sorry but it seems you're not enjoying it anymore so use these days to think about it. It's not that you have to give me an answer now. Goodnight," Theo said and he rolled again on his side, letting Adam stare again at his back.

Adam wanted to roll Theo, look at him in the eyes and swear him that he loved him and Emma and that he didn't want to leave them but Theo had made it clear that he was done with him for tonight. He felt so angry with himself that he wanted to scream for the pain he was feeling and cry for the frustration because the situation was only his fault. His world was upside down and he laid there, looking at Theo, hoping that he would be able to fall asleep holding him in his arms again. He had never felt so miserable, worthless and guilty in his whole life and it took hours before he fell asleep.

*

Adam woke in an empty bed. He panicked for a second before he heard noises coming from the kitchen and despite he felt dead tired, he didn't want to waste a second. He got up and decided to make himself presentable before reaching Theo and Emma, and he realized how much he missed those voices and laughers. He gave a peek before announcing his presence and he couldn't help but pick up his camera, being able to take some beautiful pictures before getting caught by Emma.

"Stop working it's time for breakfast!" She said in a serious tone and Adam met Theo's eyes, which hid a hint of sadness. Even their four years old daughter knew that he was spending too much time holding a camera and his heart sunk.

"Dad and I cooked these pancakes for you. They are my favorite; nobody makes better pancakes than dad," Emma said with a big smile and Adam smiled her back, happy that she was too young to understand what was going on. Theo was sad, hurt, disappointed but he was hiding all his pain and sadness to their daughter every second they were together, and he couldn't help but think how stupid he was and how such a great man Theo was.

"Thank you sweetie. I am sure they are good," Adam said taking the plate form Emma's hands.

"Dad's pancakes are not good, they are the best," she hurried to reply and then, she run back to Theo for a hug, waiting for him before sitting down at the table.

They had breakfast in a relaxed atmosphere with Theo clearly hiding the turmoil inside of him. Adam was treasuring every moment of what was happening; Emma and Theo's voices, their laughers, their funny expressions, and his heart was jumping in his chest for the happiness he was feeling, wondering how he had managed to be so stupid to forget how good it felt being with them.

 

After breakfast they went for a hike on the beach and Adam did his best to interact with Emma, feeling almost blessed when his attentions were returned. Theo was giving him all the space he needed with her because he knew that he had missed his daughter but probably, he was also testing him. The words that Theo had told him yesterday were still echoing in his head; his husband was almost sure that the reason of his staying away for so long was that he didn't find their life exciting anymore. Obviously, since Emma's birth, things had changed drastically; it wasn't anymore just the two of them but there was someone to take care of. Someone that needed to be fed, cleaned and loved and it wasn't possible anymore to skip lunch or go out until unholy hours of the night, buy a plane ticket and leave without even thinking. A kid required attention almost twenty-four hours a day and for sure, Theo had always been more dedicate than him. However, he was sure of one thing: he had wanted her and he was still happy to have a child. He hadn't forgotten all they had gone through and he had never repented because the moment he had held that little girl in his arms had been one of the two most beautiful day of his life. He really loved them and he couldn't think about a life without them. He admitted that his actions lately had failed in proving that with no reason except that he was an idiot. Since Emma had begun to go to the kindergarten he had wrongly thought that Emma didn't need him as before and that Theo was such a great dad that was enough. It had been a stupid, selfish decision Besides being a big mistake, and he could clearly see the results now. However, everything was clear in his mind and he didn't need to think before taking a decision; they were a family and he loved what he had.

While Adam was helping Emma searching for little stones to put in a vase, Theo was talking to someone at the phone. When he was done, he approached him with a serious face and Adam got worried that something bad had happened.

"Is everything okay?"

"My dad had some kind of a heart attack; it's not that serious but my mom is obviously shaken. Dad has to stay in hospital to run some tests and have a little surgery so it's better I go there because none of my siblings are there or can reach her immediately and I need to stay with my mom."

"Of course, honey. I am so sorry to hear this news but I am sure he'll be fine, okay?" Adam said taking Theo's face into his hands and placing a kiss on his forehead before his arms closed his tiny frame in a tight, warm, comforting hug. Theo melted into Adam's arms and Adam enjoyed that Theo had finally let himself go, even if he was aware of the fact that it was for a completely different reason.

"I am sorry I have to leave you alone with Emma," Theo said as he left the hug, feeling guilty for leaving.

"Don't worry Theo, we'll be fine. You need to take care of your parents and I need some time alone with her. I just realized that she almost forgot she has two dads...I know it's just my fault so I am gonna use these days to make her remember it."

"I think it's better we go back home now so I can be in Manchester tonight."

 

They arrived home and Theo hurried to pack. Emma went to her room and began to gather stuff to pack but Adam stopped her.

"Honey...what are you doing?"

"We are leaving and I wanna bring these things with me."

"Theo is gonna leave alone, honey. We're staying at home." Adam said in a gentle tone and Emma frowned.

"Why?"

"Grandad is ill and he's at the hospital; Theo is going there to help him feeling better and we-"

"I wanna go with dad."

"We'll see him again in five days and we come back home all together."

Emma was looking at him with sad eyes, still processing the words, and Adam decided he needed to make her feel safe.

"And I am gonna stay here with you and we'll be fine. There are so many thing you have to show me and tell me, right?"

"Right," she replied not in a very convincing tone but she stopped packing and run to Theo's room.

Theo asked her to help him and Adam was feeling stupid with each passing minute spent looking at Theo and Emma's relationship and he couldn't help but hope that he was still in time to have that bond with her.

As Theo closed his suitcase, Emma looked at him.

"Why I cannot come with you?"

Theo's heart was aching in his chest looking at her like that; she probably didn't feel safe but he explained her the situation and did his best to convince her that she would have been lot of fun at home with Adam. Then she reminded her that she had the rehearsals of the dance show at school and that they had already bought tickets for the magic show and she could not miss it. Emma kept looking at him pretty disappointed for staying at home but she had not complained. She had stayed close to Theo all the time, hugging his leg at some point as it was clear that she was feeling a bit uncomfortable at the idea of staying home with Adam.

"Here's the plan of the week," Theo said, and quickly explained Adam the things he needed to do and Emma's activities after school. Adam picked up Emma in his arms as he told Theo that they would be fine together but Emma, after a few seconds, was already stretching out her arms toward Theo.

 

Emma said goodbye to Theo in between crying but Adam didn't let this put pressure on him and turn him nervous, instead, he decided he would do his best to make her feel happy and safe without her favourite dad. His optimism lessened a little when, unexpectedly, he had to snatch her away from Theo's arms. He met Theo's look, almost the verge of crying because of Emma and the whole situation and he felt a bit nervous at the idea that Theo didn't trust him enough.

"Adam, maybe it's better-"

"Please, Theo..." Adam replied with a pleading look that matched his words and Theo nodded, knowing that it was better to leave her with him.

 

Adam hadn't been able to calm Emma as expected; at some point she had stopped crying only because she had fallen asleep exhausted but he decided that there was nothing to get worried about. He's been there when they had brought her home from the hospital; he had gotten up in the middle of the night and given her the feeding bottle countless times. He had changed her diapers and he had calmed her cries. He had helped her to move her fist steps and he had been there to teach her the first words so he knew her daughter enough to make her feel good and that was probably the best way to show to Theo and Emma how much he cared for them.


	4. I WISH I'D KNOWN THAT IT'D BE THIS HARD TO BE ALONE

The morning after it took ten minutes to Adam to wake the sleepy princess and he was grateful for Theo's detailed instructions. He soon realized that the planning that Theo had prepared for him while on train heading Manchester, wasn't because he didn't trust his abilities as dad; he just knew better than him what to do and how to do things in order to get to the kindergarten in time with no stress. Luckily, after the sleepy princess woke up and left the bed, things had gone rather smoothly. She ate everything he had prepared for breakfast and wore her clothes almost without his help while he finished to gather the stuff she needed for that day. She hadn't talked a lot but, at least, she didn't look desperate for not seeing Theo around so he took it as a good sign that she was coping with the sudden new situation. He gave her the teddy bear and they finally left the house, walking to the kindergarten hand in hand. At the beginning, she resented a bit for the fact that he didn't know any of the songs she was used to sing with Theo but he asked her to teach him her favorite one and she did that, laughing every time he skipped a word and going on repeating the same part until he got it. They arrived in front of the school with only half of the song learned but given the fact she was smiling, Adam thought that things had gone great for the first part of the day. However, he was a little nervous thinking at the moment they would be home again because, maybe, she expected Theo be there and he was almost sure that she would feel Theo’s absence the moment she had to go to sleep.

"You need to learn how to do ponytails, Adam," she said, shaking him out of his thoughts. She turned and showed him the collapsed ponytail and Adam couldn't help but admit that he had really made a bad job.

"I am sorry, honey. I promise I am gonna do better tomorrow," Adam said fixing her hair again, mentally taking a note of checking ponytails tutorials on YouTube.

"Okay," she replied with a smile that reminded him of Theo. "Are you coming to pick me up at four?"

"Of course, honey; you'll find me here."

She smiled at him again and she took his hand before crossing the street walking toward the entrance; he placed a kiss on her cheek, gave her the backpack and let her go. Emma run toward the class without turning back to look at him; he felt a little disappointed but, obviously, he couldn't blame her for that. He stood there for a moment, feeling happy for the time he had spent with her since they had woken up, doing what Theo did every day, thinking that it was a pleasurable routine. Probably he was exaggerating a bit because it was just the first day, but he decided not to kill the good vibes and be enthusiastic about this break from his usual life. He took out the phone to check the list of things he needed to do and after finishing a few errands, he went home and began to think about a way to make things work because he loved Theo and Emma and he couldn't let his passion for photography destroy his family. 

 

In the middle of the afternoon Adam's phone reminded him that he had to pick up her daughter so he put away all his stuff and got ready to switch into dad mode, feeling enthusiastic about his idea of how making things work. He would have finished his detailed plan tomorrow and he couldn't wait to see Theo again and explain his idea; luckily, it was just Monday so he had another four days to turn his ideas and his plan into something concrete because it wasn't his intention telling him just some words. Emma smiled broadly as soon as she saw him, making him feel stupidly happy, and she talked relentlessly while they went to the dancing school. While the few parents there were talking to each other almost ignoring the kids -probably they had already seen the improbable dancing moves hundreds of times- he found himself taking videos and pictures of Emma. The kids were jumping, pirouetting and laughing because obviously, it was just a dancing class where kids went to have fun and not to become dancers, but after they had finally exhausted themselves a bit, they had done their best to follow the teacher's directions, being able to perform a little part of the program they were preparing for the upcoming show.

"Hi Adam," Theo said in a neutral tone answering Adam's call. "Thanks for sending the video, I miss that little monster a lot," he added immediately after, looking a little less uncomfortable, and Adam smiled.

"I know it. Right now they are trying to memorize the choreography and let's say it's gonna be a funny mess," Adam explained, knowing that he had made Theo smile even if he couldn't see it. "How is your father?"

"Well, the situation is better than I expected, than _we_ expected, doctors included. He still needs that surgery but it seems that is gonna be routine operation."

"I am happy to hear it; I am sure that tomorrow's surgery is gonna go smooth and your father is gonna be okay very soon," Adam said trying to cheer him up, feeling guilty that Theo wasn't in the right state of mind to face this difficult moment because of their situation. He didn't want to put too much pressure on Theo so he avoided mentioning the stuff he had already thought about to settle their _problem_ and he just reassured him that he had nothing to worry about Emma because they were doing great, hoping that his words would make him feel a little better.

Adam and Emma went home; after a bath, they had dinner and Adam felt happy that Emma was so talkative and was behaving so well. She called Theo by FaceTime and spent twenty minutes talking to him and then she headed to bed without complaining except when Adam began to read her the good night fairytale. Apparently, he wasn't that good in changing the voices and his acting skills weren't good as Theo's ones but she had laughed a lot so, at the end, she had fallen asleep with a smile on her face and Adam felt pretty pleased with himself. He drew a breath of relief when he killed the light and left the room; in the morning, he had woken up a little scared after the desperate cry of the night before and now he was feeling satisfied for the way things had gone. 

 

Tuesday passed by rather smoothly except for the fact that Adam had had some kind of lecture from one of Emma's teachers. Obviously, the teacher had not complained about Emma's behaviour, rather about his one. At the beginning, giving the way Miss Bradly was looking and talking to him, Adam suspected that the woman kinda had a weakness for Theo. He could say that she was annoyed by the fact that such a handsome and perfect man was already taken by someone else but probably she was even more annoyed by the fact that the stupid someone else was spending the whole time away from him. However, it didn't take too much to Adam to realize that well, maybe it was true that Miss Bradly was thinking that it was a pity that Theo was gay and already married with someone that didn't deserve him, but it was evident that she also cared for Emma. She looked sincerely worried for her so he immediately stopped being an idiot and listened to her attentively. He could see the affection she had for Emma and he appreciated how tactfully she had tried to explain him the situation. Sometimes the little girl was a bit confused about her parents; she was the only one in her class having two dads and that was enough confusing for her, but the fact that he was always away, was making things even more complicated. Sometimes she said that she had just one dad and her teachers often had to remind her to draw both her dads when they asked the kids to draw their family.

When Adam was back home, he spent some time in Emma's room and he sadly realized how his daughter considered Theo her dad more than him. Not that he hadn't suspected it but it was pretty hard to look at the proof of that while looking at her drawings. Theo was always two times taller than he was and Theo was always next to her holding her hand while he, on the contrary, was just a little bit taller than she was and was just in the same drawing. In a couple of her little masterpieces she had forgotten to draw him arms and hands and it clearly looked as if she knew that she had to draw him but that she didn't feel any connection to him. And he couldn't pretend not to have noticed how Theo was the only one she called dad. It hurt every time she called him by his name but well, that was just the result of his stupid behavior. Adam felt sad and couldn't help but cursing at himself even if he knew that it wouldn't help fixing things. He shook the sadness away and he thought only about the fact that he wanted to take back his place in her life, doing everything necessary to make her daughter happy to have two amazing dads and convincing Theo that he loved the family they had created together.

 

Wednesday had been pretty chaotic; after school, they had been to the swimming pool but Emma hadn't felt at ease in the water despite, apparently, she never had a problem going there with Theo. As Adam had been busy all day long with some appointments, they had to stop to the supermarket on their way back home and Emma was so tired when they were done that she fell asleep in the car. She was still a little sleepy when she talked to Theo but she woke up all of a sudden when the guy delivering her favorite pizza showed up at the door.

Emma went to bed earlier than usual and Adam had some time to check his emails and arrange the few last things he had to do the following day. He was checking Emma's plan of activities when he heard the little girl crying desperately and calling dad. He run up the stairs and he found her crying desperately because of a bad nightmare so he took her in his arms and cuddled her with sweet words and gentle caresses but the little girl didn't want to calm down.

"I want dad!" she kept saying in between sobs and no matter how hard Adam was trying to reassure her that her dad was there, she didn't stop and was trying to wriggle away from his embrace.

"I want my dad," she cried hysterically at some point and Adam was taken aback.

"Calm down, honey! Listen to me; I'm your dad and I am here. Nobody is gonna hurt you because I am here," he said in a very calm and reassuring tone. Obviously, the little girl didn't look comforted by Adam's words and he knew that it had no sense trying to go on explain the situation to a scared four years old so he did the only thing he could do, even if it was late in the night.

 

Theo's phone rang on the nightstand. He had turned off the light a few minutes before so he had been very quick to pick up, his heart already beating fast in his chest as he was worried that something bad has happened at home.

"Adam? What's up?" Theo asked in a scared tone and he couldn't help but hear Emma crying in the background.

"She had a nightmare and no matter how much I tried to calm her down, she wants to hear your voice."

"Don't worry, Adam. You did the right thing calling me. Put the speakers on."

"Honey, hey, I am here."

"D-dad..."

"Hey calm down, honey; it was just a bad dream. Stop crying and look around. Dad is with you and now he's gonna keep the bad dreams away."

"I-I want t-to sleep with you," she said, still sighing in between tears.

"I cannot come back home now but you're not gonna sleep alone. You are a very lucky girl because you have two dads and Adam is there and he's gonna hold you in his arms and protect you from the bad dreams. Okay?"

"Why you can't come back now?"

"Because I am in Manchester; do you remember that I told you that grandad is in the hospital because he is ill? But you're gonna come here for the weekend so we can stay together, okay? Tomorrow is Thursday so it means that in less than two days we're gonna meet again."

"Sure?"

"Friday night you'll be here and we can sleep together if you want. Okay?"

"Okay."

"I love you honey. To the moon and back."

"I love you more."

"I am a lucky dad. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

Adam picked the phone and turned off the speakers before talking to Theo.

"Thanks and sorry again if I called but-"

"It's okay. Let her sleep with you."

"Okay. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

Adam put the phone away on the nightstand. He washed away the tears from Emma's face showing her a big smile and changed her pajama since it was sweaty and then, he took her in his arms and brought her to his bed. He got rid of his clothes and wore his pajama and as soon as he slid under the covers, she settled against him, making him feel happy and sad at the same time. It was really nice having her snuggling against him and clinging at him, but it was painful facing the truth that he had missed almost two years of the life of his daughter.

 

The morning after Adam woke up with Emma's foot on his chest. He lifted himself up a bit just to see that her head was pointing in the wrong direction and he couldn't help but laugh. It was time to get up but honestly, he needed to enjoy a few minutes more of that. And then, he would probably need another couple of minutes of cuddles and then, maybe, they could get up. Each passing day he realized how much that little girl meant to him and he hoped that she would start feeling safe with him very soon.

They walked to school singing along, Emma happy that he finally knew her favorite song by heart, and he was happy for the fact that the bad nightmare seemed forgotten. The more he stayed with her, the more he saw Theo and it made him smile stupidly at that. As she had his genes, it wasn't strange that they had the same big brown eyes with beautiful eyelashes, perfect lips, and cute freckles. The amazing thing was that they had similar temperament and definitely the same way to smile and pout, probably because of the time they have spent together, and he couldn't help but missing Theo every time he looked at her.

 

At ten to four, Adam was already waiting for her outside the kindergarten and when they arrived home, Emma showed Adam a drawing, making him almost bursting into tears. Finally, she had drew herself between two dads that were same height and that were both holding her hands and he felt happy in a way he couldn't think possible. He took Emma in his arm and hugged her tightly, kissing her on the cheek and she hugged him back with the same enthusiasm.

"Your beard is scratchy" she exclaimed.

"Sorry honey; should I shave it?"

"Yes!"

"Do you think that dad will still like me without the beard?"

"I don't have it and dad loves me," she said as stating an obvious thing, making Adam chuckle.

"Okay then, I am gonna get rid of it. Are you gonna help me?"

"Yes!"

Adam prepared the things he needed. He cut his beard without hesitation and when he made it shorter enough, he let Emma smear the white cream all over his face, with chuckles escaping her lips.

"You look like Santa Claus," she said laughing and after she was done, he started shaving. It was years that he wasn't doing that and despite he knew he was going to miss his beard, he was happy to do it, as to remind himself that it was a new beginning and that the old Adam was back. It took some time to finish but Emma had kept him company talking and singing and when he was done, she kept caressing the smooth skin, going on complimenting him for a while.

"Remember not to tell it to dad when we call him, okay? Tomorrow we're gonna make him a surprise."

They put on fancy clothes and combed their hair perfectly and finally, they went to the magic show. Emma had enthusiastically walked on stage when the magician had asked for an assistant; Theo loved doing magic tricks and she obviously played with her a lot so she felt totally at ease up there, already knowing some of the tricks that left most of the kids with their mouths open. When they were back home, she immediately called Theo, eager to tell him everything has happened, and she was still so excited when it was time to go to bed, that Adam knew that she would have not fallen asleep as quickly as usual. He brought her to his bed and read her a story, chuckling every time she interrupted him to tell him something about the show or Theo, cuddling her while reading the story in the attempt to make her fall asleep. It happened at some point and he felt happy that she had enjoyed the show even if Theo wasn't there and he felt even happier that he was going to see Theo in less than twenty-four hours.

*

"Honey, are you okay?" Theo's mum asked, placing a hand on his shoulder as he was helping her tidying up the kitchen. He hadn't finished his dinner and looked tired but she suspected it wasn't because of his father rather because of his husband. He hadn't said a thing about Adam being back home and she had noticed his tone and his tensed features during his short calls with him. Also Lucy had noticed how happy he was while talking to Emma and how miserable he looked when he talked to Adam, and they had deducted that there was something wrong even if they couldn't believe that their marriage was at risk.

"Sorry mum, everything was delicious but I wasn't hungry. I am a bit tired and I think I am going to bed right now."

"Theo...is everything okay? I mean...you and Adam...if you want to talk or have an advice..." she asked tentatively. Lucy was out with a friend and maybe Theo felt more at ease pouring out his problems without her around.

Theo smiled and he wasn't surprised that his mother had noticed something. He was pensive and not because of his father's conditions because, thank God, they were getting better with each passing day.

"I honestly don't know what's going on, mum" Theo replied as there was no reason to deny the obvious and well, maybe she could give him an advice.

"You definitely need to talk to me then. What's the problem? Don't tell me you suspect he has someone else because I cannot believe it."

"No, probably that is the only thing I am sure of. The problem is that....he has been traveling a lot for a few years but if we check the last twelve months...he's been more time abroad than at home. Emma is growing up so fast and it is a real delight to see how many things she is able to learn and to do and I can't believe how Adam is okay with missing all these extraordinary little things. He won't have these moments back but it seems he's not interested a lot about missing them all. And I cannot understand why he needs to work so much; we have worked so hard in the previous years, earning enough money to let us have the privilege to dedicate more time to our family but I am the only one doing it so I kinda gave him an ultimatum. And I don't know if I have done the right thing... I've been pretty harsh with him so I don't know... it's not that I have made things looking more appealing after my speech and I am realizing that maybe I could have acted differently to convince him to stay with us."

"Well, I don't think you need to convince Adam to stay with you... I mean he has the best husband and daughter he could ask for -and not because I am your mum and her grandma- and he should be happy to stay with you without anybody convincing him doing that. And if you've tried to solve things in another manner and it didn't work, probably this _ultimatum_ was just the last thing to do so don't feel guilty, Theo."

"I've tried my best to make him understand that he was spending too much time away from home but he didn't get the message. Last week we were going to pick him up at the airport and we had to go back home because he had stopped in Paris for some business meeting so I told myself I couldn't go on like that. This constant feeling of missing him and feeling lonely it's too painful; I cannot stand it anymore. As well as the fact that we're getting just the crumbs from him...I don't think it's fair. Not to mention the fact that Emma is not calling him dad....I mean...how can he accept that? I can't understand it," Theo said, feeling better after saying almost everything to his mum.

Theo's mother hugged him after he poured out his misery, and she could see how much this situation was making him suffer and feeling bad, not only for himself but also for their daughter.

"Did you ask him to quit his job?"

"No, I could never ask him something like that but I've told him to think about the fact that he enjoys more staying away from us instead of being at home and that he should take a decision about how he wants to live his life. I can understand that maybe everyday routine doesn't look that exciting to him but honestly, I like it and it would be great with him around. I still love him but maybe he doesn't love me anymore."

"I always thought you were made to be together, Theo, and I still think that. For some reasons, he kind of lost focus on what is really important in life and you only asked him to change his priorities and spend more time with you. I am sure he has already regretted for behaving like that so...he's gonna make the right decision."

"I don't know; I am afraid he's gonna try for a while and then leave...And I don't know how I can handle that because I cannot love anyone else the way I love him."

"He's not gonna leave you and Emma. Adam is not an idiot; just a little dumb maybe," she said with a chuckle, trying to diffuse the tension.

"I am equally happy and scared to see him tomorrow," Theo said feeling anxious, something never happened to him.

"Everything will be fine, honey."


	5. PLEASE COME HOME

Friday morning both Emma and Adam woke up happy and excited because, finally, they were going to see Theo again. They have missed him a lot and they couldn't stop thinking at the moment they would finally hug him and kiss him. Adam was still doubtful about the fact he could hug and kiss him the moment they would meet, but he was sure that he would be able to do it after talking to him.

"Adam, see you at four. I can't wait to see dad," Emma said with a big smile on her face.

"I can't wait too. What about giving me a big hug and kiss?"

Emma lifted up her arms and Adam squatted down to be at her level and she hugged him while smiling, kissing his cheek immediately after.

"You're so soft, Adam. Dad is gonna like that," she said caressing his cheek and then, she kissed him again.

"I love you," Adam said, not expecting anything from her but the little girl looked at him in the eyes and then spoke the sweetest words to Adam's ears.

"I love you."

. 

At the kindergarten, Emma made a few draws for Theo and told everyone she would have traveled by train to see her dad; at home, Adam finished packing and couldn't wait to talk to Theo about his idea that was not just an idea because everything was already settled. He thought about talking to himself in the mirror in order to prepare himself to the conversation with Theo but he decided that it was useless because he would have forgotten everything and anyway, his speech didn't have to be perfect; the only thing that mattered was that everything he was saying was true. He hadn't made that plan because he had convinced himself that it was the right thing to do. He wasn't about to change his life only to calm Theo's anger telling him what he wanted to hear. He had really realized how stupid and selfish he had been, staying away from his amazing husband and his adorable daughter. He had no doubts about the fact he loved Theo, wanted to spend the rest of his life next to him and wanted to raise Emma with him so he just needed to take a deep breath and open his heart to Theo. 

. 

"Aren't we arrived yet?" Emma asked at some point, not able anymore to stay still on her seat. Adam could imagine how she was feeling because he felt more or less impatient like her so he smiled at her and took her in his lap.

"We still have thirty minutes, honey. What about going on reading the story?"

"Why don't we send dad a picture?"

"Okay," Adam said taking his phone out of the pocket. "Are you ready?"

"Your face is missing, Adam!"

"I don't wanna ruin the surprise we're doing to Theo so your beautiful face is enough."

They sent the picture and waited for Theo's reply. After Theo and Emma exchanged a couple of vocal messages, Emma began to scroll the camera roll of Adam's phone, looking with him at the pictures he had taken since he was back, smiling and talking about all the things they had done together.

. 

Theo didn't know what to expect from their reunion and he was nervous even to think about it. He hadn't speak a lot with Adam; their phone calls had been always short because he had done his best not to let the conversation go on after they had talked about his father's condition or stuff regarding Emma and the kindergarten. Keeping Adam at distance has been difficult and painful but he knew he had to do that. - _Lately it seems I enjoy feeling sad; when it's not him that makes me suffer I do that by myself_ \- Theo told himself sarcastically while he was preparing the bed in Jak's room. He knew that Adam had no intention to leave him and was about to try his best to behave in the next weeks, but he was pessimistic about their future together on long distance. He still loved Adam but he needed to feel loved and he couldn't feel satisfied with just the crumbs that Adam would end up offering him after a few months of perfect life. - _Maybe it's better to let him go and move on; pleading for his love makes me feel constantly sad and I won't be able to hide my pain to Emma forever_ \- he murmured to himself.

"Is that for Adam?" Lucy asked, entering Jak's room. "Because you can sleep in my old bedroom; we can put together the single beds where Emily and I used to sleep so you all three can stay here," she said, knowing that Emma was eager to sleep with Theo and not accepting the fact that his brother and Adam weren't about to sleep in the same bed. She was still incredulous about the fact that her brother was really thinking about breaking up with the only man he would ever love. She was sure that things couldn't be bad as they apparently were and she was even more sure that there was a way to fix the mess Adam had done. Adam and Theo could not divorce; it would have meant to her that love didn't exist because they were two kindred spirits and, therefore, it was not possible that they could take separate paths.

"No Lucy, it's okay. Honestly, I don't feel like sleeping in the same bed with Adam so...thanks, it's better like that. Emma and I can fit in my old bed without problems."

"Of course; you slept with Adam in that bed so many times and Emma is definitely smaller than him," she said, reminding him of the past. Lucy had serious problems recognizing her brother and even if she had not said anything to him since she had arrived and noticed the situation, she couldn't hold back her thoughts anymore. "I can't believe you are giving up, Theo! Come on! You're meant to stay together!"

"I don't know if we're gonna fix things, Lucy."

"I don't recognize you, Theo. Where's your optimism?"

"It's not about being optimistic. He doesn't like our life anymore so I am afraid it's just a question of time."

"Hey, I am sure he enjoyed these days with Emma. Look at the picture you showed me before and the messages you have exchanged with her...she is happy and of course, she is happy because she's going to see you but she's happy also because she has spent a great time with Adam and that means that Adam has spent a great time with her. As mum said, he just got lost but he loves you and Emma and he's gonna behave."

Theo was moved by his sister's words; she noticed it and she hurried to hug him, asking him to go down and drink a cup of tea, trying to distract him from overthinking and putting him in the right state of mind for his reunion with Adam.

They drunk their tea while chatting on the couch; Theo looked impatient to see Emma and nervous to see Adam; he kept checking the phone to know where their taxi was and at some point he got up, staring out of the window as the car was supposed to show up in a few minutes.

Even if Lucy and her mom were sadly aware of the fact that Theo looked serious about letting Adam go, they were optimistic about the fact that Adam would convince Theo that they still were a family. Theo and Adam still loved each other deeply and they were ready to do their best to help them overcome this bad moment.

As soon as a taxi stopped outside the house, Theo run toward the door opening it, hurrying down the short flight of stairs that led to the garden. A big smile appeared on his face as soon as Emma got out of the car and appeared in front of him, followed by a shaved Adam. Theo frowned at the sight of his husband like that but he didn't have the time to think about anything in particular because his attention was already on the little monster he had missed so much.

"Dad!"

Theo smiled and opened his arms to hug her; he lifted her off the ground and made her fly in the air before he hugged her tightly again and kissed her cheek. While he was enjoying Emma's hug and giggles, he took a few seconds to look at Adam standing there. He was so used to the beard that he had almost forgotten how the man looked like without it, and thousands of memories came to his mind. He smiled at him and Adam smiled him back and Theo's heart began to beat fast in his chest.

"Dad, you promised to sleep together; do you remember?" Emma asked, distracting Theo from his reveries.

"Yes, of course I remember it! Are you tired? Do you wanna go to bed now?"

"No, I am not tired. I just wanted to be sure that you didn't forget it."

"I didn't forget it. Now go and say hello to grandma and Lucy so I say hello to Adam, okay?"

He put Emma down on the ground and she run inside the house reaching the two women and enjoying their cuddles. Theo approached Adam and his mind was a mess; it was like being back in the past looking at him shaved, and he felt like they were young again and he couldn't help but think that maybe his shaved beard meant something...maybe it meant that his husband was ready to start afresh and the old Adam was back and..."

"Hi Theo."

"Hi. Where did your beard disappear?"

"Our princess complained it was too scratchy so I got rid of it."

"Oh, I see."

"Well, she wasn't the only one who complained since I grew it too much so I hope that she's not the only one happy about it," Adam said with a chuckle and Theo smiled.

"You really look so young like that; I've almost forgotten how you looked like without your beard," Theo said, avoiding to say he was stunning and preventing his hand to move on Adam's cheek and caress it. Even if ten minutes ago he was intentioned to be resolute in his decision to have everything or nothing from his husband, he was feeling already powerless, ready to give up and let Adam do what he wanted so it was better to keep him at distance.

"Well, I have a younger husband that looks even younger than he is so maybe now, at least, we look the same age," Adam said with a chuckle.

Adam looked pretty relaxed despite his days alone with Emma and he looked also very calm as if he knew what he wanted and had all the answers to his questions.

"The fact is that I needed to get more hugs and kisses from Emma so I asked her an advice about my beard and here I am."

"Did it work?"

"It's getting better so I am happy I have done it."

"I am sure you're gonna win her heart very soon," Theo said with a smile and he could imagine the scene of those two having fun with the shaving foam. He would have killed to be there and enjoy something like that and he fought the smile that was about to appear on his face because it was better not even start daydreaming like that.

"And you know how she convinced me? She told me that she doesn't have a beard and you love her, therefore, I didn't have to be scared getting rid of it," Adam said, trying to lighten the mood. "She's really brilliant. She left me open-mouthed a lot of times...I had lot of fun with her but she also broke my heart every time she called me Adam. However, that it's just my fault and I am sorry for being away from her for so many months in the past two years."

Theo wasn't surprised of Adam's words; despite he felt sad for him because Emma was calling him by his name, he was happy that Adam had finally understood that Emma had some problems realizing that she had two dads, and he was even more than happy to see that he was taking it seriously.

"How's your dad?" Adam asked, still not sure if it was time to face the main problem.

"He's fine; everything went pretty smooth and Jak is coming on Sunday so I think I can be at home Tuesday evening; you just have to be patient for a few more days."

"Take your time, we're doing well. I've followed your scheme and we hadn't miss a thing. And I've became pretty good at ponytails and braids and this morning I got an eight out of ten. I was a two at the beginning of the week so now everything is under control."

Theo smiled. He had missed Emma a lot but now that Adam was here in front of him, he couldn't help but think how much he had missed having him around and living with him.

"I still have to learn most of her favourite songs but I am studying them and my acting skills are improved pretty fast so believe me, I am doing well and I am enjoying it all. Maybe on Monday I can pay a visit to my parents with Emma and sleep there so, on Tuesday, we can go back to London all together," Adam said hoping that Theo would not find his idea inappropriate. They hadn't spoken about anything yet and he was already assuming that everything was okay between them but maybe it wasn't like that.

"It's a great idea," Theo said sincerely happy and, finally, a smile appeared on his face. 

Adam smiled at Theo's reaction and all he wanted to do was to throw his arms around him and kiss him but he didn't know if Theo was ready for that so, with a heavy heart, he decided not to do it. However, he could not bear that torture anymore so he closed the distance between them and looking at Theo in the eyes, he decided that it was time to tell him what he desperately wanted to tell him since he had gotten out of the car.

"I love you, Theo, and I missed you. I missed being with you and Emma. I missed my life with you and I want it back. I want everything back and I am ready to do everything to make it happen if you still want me being part of your life."

Theo's eyes became watery and Adam wanted desperately to take him into his arms but, again, he he didn't know if he was allowed to do that. However, as soon as he noticed a tear escaping Theo's eyes, he stopped thinking and took his husband in his arms. Theo hugged him back without saying a word and they stood there like that lost in their world until Emma appeared.

"Dad, can I have a biscuit before going to sleep?"

Adam let Theo go and the man turned to wipe a few tears away quickly while Adam lifted Emma up in his arms to avoid she could see Theo crying. He asked her which kind of biscuit she was talking about because he wanted one also for himself; Emma replied to Adam, not searching for Theo's attention or waiting for his reply and they both went inside to get their biscuits.

Theo took a deep breath and after a few minutes he entered the door, finding his mom smiling at him and patting a hand on his shoulder.

"You're made to stay together, Theo. You're such a beautiful couple and family," she said looking at Adam holding Emma in his arm and sharing a biscuit with her.

Theo looked at Adam and Emma and yes, his mother was right. They were meant to stay together and he was sure that they would find a way to overcome this bad moment because he loved Adam as if it was the first day, and it seemed that he loved him back in the same way.

After sharing another cookie, Adam convinced Emma that it was time to go to sleep so they all moved upstairs and Adam picked the stuff out of the suitcase and put them on the bed of Theo's room. Emma was supposed to sleep with Theo and the bed wasn't enough big for them all; in any case, he felt it was better to sleep separately until they would talk properly and clarify things, knowing that Theo was not ready yet to share the bed.

"I guess I am gonna sleep in Jak's room, right ?" Adam asked and Theo felt a little guilty.

"Yes."

"Perfect. So...see you tomorrow morning. Goodnight," Adam said and he kissed Theo on his forehead.

"Goodnight," Theo replied and then Adam kissed Emma goodnight before disappearing in Jak's bedroom. 

 

 

Theo and Emma changed into their pajamas and slid under the covers.

"Dad, I am happy to sleep with you."

"I am happy too. I missed you a lot."

"I know you spent a nice time with Adam."

"Yes, but I want you come home with us."

"Tuesday will go back home together, don't worry."

"Do you like Adam without the beard?" she asked before yawning.

"He looks beautiful. He looked like that when I met him."

"I like him, his cheeks are so smooth. And his eyes are a beautiful color, better than ours. And he let me sleep with him yesterday and we began a new story because we finished the book you were reading to me," she went on yawning again and a second later, she was dead asleep.

 

*

 

The morning after, Adam awoke pretty early so he decided to get up and prepare breakfast. He met Theo's mother in the kitchen and he was happy that she had wished him good morning with a smile and a warm hug.

"I am so happy to have you here, Adam. It's been a while," she said.

"I've been pretty busy and...no, let's say that I kept myself pretty busy...I realized I kinda lost focus on the most important thing in my life and I hope I am still in time to have back everything," he said with a sad tone and Mrs. Hutchcraft could hear the nervousness in his voice.

"Don't worry Adam; be honest with yourself and with Theo and everything is gonna be fine," she said with a reassuring smile and Adam felt better. He helped to settle the table and prepare other things and then he went to check Theo and Emma. He opened the door and he stood there staring at them for a while, until Emma heard some dogs barking loudly in the street and opened her eyes. She smiled at Adam and she began to wake Theo and five minutes later she was already downstairs, following the smell of the chocolate cake that grandma had just baked.

"Did you sleep well?" Theo asked with a sleepy voice.

"Yes," Adam replied with a tiny smile and he sat on the bed. His hand brushed away a strand of hair that wasn't in its usual place given the fact that hair gel was missing. He enjoyed looking at Theo's sleepy face and after taking a deep breath, he spoke.

"I have missed your freckled, sleepy face every single morning," Adam said with a smile. "I love you so much, Theo."

"I know you love me. Now tell me you love me more than your job."

"I am so sorry, Theo. I love you and Emma more than everything and I've been an idiot. I understand if you have doubts because despite my words, I realized that I haven't shown my love for you lately and I feel guilty for that. I am so sorry and it hurts to realize how stupid I have behaved. I left you taking care of our family and I deserve what is going on with our daughter; she considers you her dad more than me. She doesn't call me dad and I know that it's only my fault. This week I realized how much effort you put every day to make things run smooth and I want to share this with you. I want you to know that I am still yours if you still want me in your life.”

Theo had never stopped looking at his husband straight in the eyes while he was speaking, and after a few seconds of silence, Adam resumed talking.

"Give me another chance, Theo. I have thought a lot this week and made plans and I wondered if you would like to have a partner in your business. I mean...you have a model agency and you could use a great photographer...there's a free space in the building where you have your agency and I can have my office and even a studio there."

"And will you be happy to stay inside a studio all day long? That's not what you do now," Theo said, wanting to keeps things real.

"Well that's the way it started and I loved it. And I am constantly refusing so many offers that now I can accept... we live in London and you know that there are many opportunities here. And I won't stay in the studio all day long because there's that little monster to take care of! And we should take some time for ourselves when she's not around because we need to have some quality time to spend together. We have a house and we both run successful business so we can enjoy life and... I don't know, maybe we can take every Wednesday off and spend it together. And if I receive an offer to work abroad that it would be a pity to refuse, we can discuss about it together; if we can all move, I will accept it; I am not leaving you alone anymore and if I step on a plane it's only because you and Emma are going to sit next to me."

"Adam..."

"Let me finish, honey! You're gonna keep the 51% and therefore you'll be my boss...I kinda like that," Adam said with a mischievous smile. Theo couldn't believe the words but he knew that Adam was serious about everything he had said and a big smile lit his whole face.

"It's deal."

"Come on, Theo! I expected you to take advantage of your new position to put conditions, I don't know... "

"The only condition is that you never forget to put us first," Theo said gently.

"Never. I am gonna love you and take care of you for the rest of my time," Adam said and he approached Theo placing a hand on his face. "I missed you so much; let me kiss those beautiful lips of yours again," Adam asked with a pleading look. Theo smiled and pulled Adam by his t-shirt, crashing their lips together.

"Now that you are the boss, are you gonna ask me those kind of stuff you'd never have the courage to ask your husband?" Adam asked with a chuckle after they parted.

"Well, maybe I have one,"

"Only one?"

"Maybe a few; you've been away for too long," Theo said with a mischievous tone and an unmistakable grin on his face.

"I am sorry for my absence but now I am here to make you happy and fulfill all your fantasies, Theo" Adam whispered into Theo's ear before kissing his neck and let his hand travel down to his groin.

"Maybe is better to delay when we'll back home because I am sure that she's going to come here within a minute and she's smart enough to make me feel embarrassed," Theo said laughing and Adam couldn't help but stop and sigh.

"Yes, she's too smart for four years old."

"But I really need another kiss," Theo said grabbing again Adam's t-shirt and this time, he dragged his husband on the mattress next to him.

It had to be an innocent kiss but Theo couldn't prevent himself from moving on top of Adam and as their mouths opened and their tongues touched, things heated up pretty quickly. The kiss was full of love and passion and Theo felt happy as it didn't happen for a while, knowing that Adam still loved him the way he did.

"I missed you so much, Theo" Adam said when Theo let go of his lips for a second.

"Well, as you have probably already noticed, I've missed you too," Theo said with a chuckle and despite they wanted to go on kissing, they decided it was better to part and cool off in order to avoid embarrassing problems that were already half way to show up. Theo unwillingly rolled away from Adam's body and laid next to Adam, settling into his arms a second later.

Adam placed a kiss on Theo's forehead and when Theo looked up at him, he noticed that there was a mixture of sadness and worry on Adam's face.

"What's wrong, baby?" Theo asked lifting himself up and looking down at Adam.

"Tell me she's gonna call me _dad_ again," Adam said feeling miserable. "I know it's my fault but-"

"Of course she's gonna do it, Adam" Theo said in a reassuring tone caressing his cheek. "She's gonna do it soon but I am afraid that I will always be her Prince Charming so do not expect to be more than her dad," Theo said mocking him, bringing the smile back on his face.

"I can't argue with that, she has a point. You are really a Prince Charming, Theo, and I am happy to share you with her."

"Anyway, one day she will grow up and she'll forget about how special I am," Theo said a bit sad.

"But I'll be here to remember you that you are still special to me."

"I really don't wanna think about the day it's gonna happening; I am already feeling sad at the idea."

"I'll be next to you and I am gonna cheer you up." Adam said incapable to avoid placing a comforting kiss on Theo's lips.

"Thanks because I'm gonna be so jealous...I already see myself questioning that poor boy or girl as if I was a policeman."

"You mean that _we_ are gonna be jealous and questioning the poor boy or girl as if we were at the Scotland Yards' field office!"

"So we're gonna stay up till she's back home pretending then we are fine with her going out with her love?"

"Yes, and if someone breaks her heart, we'll gonna take care of her so she will never stop to believe in love."

"Maybe she's gonna be lucky like her dads."

"I made you suffer and I won't forgive myself for that, Theo."

"I have already forgiven you so shut up and kiss me again. I think that probably the chocolate cake is keeping her busy so we have a few minutes to enjoy ourselves," Theo said with an unmistakable look in his eyes. Adam didn't let Theo say anything else and he was about to kiss him and ready for some quick action when Emma announced herself shouting from the stairs that breakfast was ready.

"Dad, get up," she said as she entered the door and walked towards Adam's side, taking his hand to drag him out of the bed. Adam felt so happy to hear those words that his smile reached his ears and Theo was looking at him in a bliss while Emma walked to his side of the bed holding Adam’s hand.

"Dad, come on! Grandma is waiting!"

 

They walked down the stairs following a super excited Emma; they shared a glance and interlocked their fingers, feeling happy and lucky. They knew what love was, they knew how to be happy and they were ready to let love and happiness accompany them for the rest of their lives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading.  
> I accidentally posted while I was finishing to edit so maybe someone read it before I finished to fix a few things. Sorry! Now it’s okay (except for the grammar mistakes I am not aware of hahahahah)  
> I also don’t know why it keeps showing the old note lol anyway...see you soon.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like this unusual story; let me know!  
> Sorry for any mistakes, I always try to do my best!


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